I don't know how to even start to express why. I have to sit down with a pen and paper. Maybe if I jot down each different subject and sub categorize related thoughts I can make a working outline to begin to approach...understand...or...
Imagine a rushing flood, in the water you see branches, bits of this, parts of that, random debris. The rushing water represents the over all thought process, uncontainable chaos. The branches and other mentioned items represent thoughts and/or subjects that are important or meaningful in their own respect. They tried to stand against the rush of everything else to be given the time and attention they deserve or require, only to be carried away. They surface from the currant only long enough to remind me, then disappear. I can not hold onto one long enough to make sense of it before I am lost in the shear volume of everything again. That is the best analogy I can come up with to convey the mess inside my head.
Somehow I need to start sorting through the chaos. So.. what starts as random scribblings of this and that (the branches and debris, if you will) hopefully becomes an outline. The point of the outline is to force me to focus on one thing long enough to at least process it somewhat.
Wish me luck.
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